Hestiaphobic anyone ?

My name is Yasmeen and I am a hestiaphobic!

I was surprised they have a name my  irrational fear, but then again they have a name for everything nowadays.  If you are anything like me, you are currently googling hestiaphobia, but have no fear I shall tell you - It is a fear of baking.  Yep, seriously, cross my heart that's what it is !  

I have decided to make a concerted effort to overcome this fear, to go boldly, or boldly go, where millions have gone before me - to start baking.

So after over 10 years in India on and off, I finally decided to take the plunge and buy an oven, not a nice big one like you get in firangi places, but a compact one (aka OTG)  that sits on top of the counter. Am renting a place and there's no space for a proper one and to be quite honest these proper ones are quite expensive and I'd rather use that dosh to go on holiday and make nice memories than spend it  on memories of burnt, non-rising, sunken in the middle cakes (which I am sure will result from my endeavours !) 

My repertoire of baking is limited to a single lemon cake I made many years ago.  A bunch of us used to get together for dinner parties on a regular basis.  Now when I say dinner parties I need to clarify.  It started with drinks, then dinner and wine, then drinks, then board games and drinks (whatever happened to playing Trivial Pursuit and Pictionary raucously after a few bevvies?), then philosophising over Baileys, then struggling with the sofa bed for those who picked the short straw for it (god those things were vicious), then waking up at 11am, full English brekkie then recovery the next day.....so where was I ?? aha the lemon cake, so I  decided to make this lemon cake as a surprise - but it never rose :(.  So I cut it up and served it as lemon flapjacks!! At least I'm inventive !

So why my hestiaphobia? I watch Masterchef and marvel at the ease at which they just throw a sponge together and then transform it into something spectacular (jammy gits !).  I sometimes spend some minutes watching those cake programs where folk have to make those monster constructions, but they don't keep me too interested as who in heaven's name wants a 5-foot cake covered in fondant and constructed for the most part out of rice-crispie bricks!

One of the 'powerpuff girls' bakes yummy stuff, my sis bakes amazing bread, a friend in Dahanu could bake for England .............everyone says just follow the recipe.  Yeah right !!  butter should be cold, don't overwork, make sure whites are peaky enough, make sure they are not too peaked, use melted butter, don't open the oven.  Maybe that's the problem I hate recipes, I am too scared to stray from them as far as baking is concerned as it's all to do with chemistry I've been told.  I'm quite happy to stray big time from stuff you make on the stove, subsitute this for that or don't worry about a missing ingredient - but baking is another story.

 I'm normally an instruction follower, I read through instructions even with a new phone.  Not that there are any instructions anymore ...what's with that ? Even if there are they have  those Ikea-like diagrams that are impossible to follow, they really need to stop employing artistically-challenged folk like me to draw these diagrams methinks.  Luckily I had my nephew here recently when I got a new water filter, I removed all the packaging, glanced at the instructions after hunting around for my glasses  and left him to figure out the putting together, which he did wonderfully.

I don't know...... it's irrational, but I'm going to bite the bullet and bake something and people are going to have to eat it whether they like it or not. 

If anything, I have to do it for the child, I mean what mother nowadays does not bake with her girl child.  In fact the other day I went to lunch at a friend's and her 12-year-old son impressed me with his baked brownies !!!  OK those who know me, know that I'm a pretty atypical mother of a young girl and have to work really hard to remember to get her girlie stuff and let her be girlie  - there are some things I can't change (a being non-girlie is one of them)  but I can learn to bake and I will bake even if it kills me and causes dodgy tummies to those around me.

So let's do it !!! I think I'll start with fairy cakes or cupcakes or muffins (easier to look upon many small disasters than a massive one)........I have the oven, I have the baking powder (got that yesterday) .............................uhm guess I'd better get on those shopping sites and order some baking trays huh (Lord I hate shopping !) 

 A bit of gyan !

 Fairy cakes vs Cupcakes

Powerpuff girls make it right !

Okaaaay I'm back.  Lots has happened since my last post and now since I'm 'lukha' (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lukha) again and as my partner 'powerpuff girls' suggested I blog - thought I'd give it a shot.

So there I was last night, lounging on the settee, trying to digest the inordinate amount of food I had consumed,  watching 'The Americans' and wondering how no-one can see through the disguises of the main character as he has a nose that you would recognize in a mile away, when my phone chirruped. I checked wassap and there it was on the 'powerpuff girls' group - a photo of my mate's paintings put up on a wall of a restaurant and the fb post claiming that  was the owner's creation....hmmmm.

There's a lot of background to this which I won't bore you with,  but needless to say there was a bunch of incredulous comments, wtf's and advice being bandied about.  Of course being ladies of action - we took it ! Comments were made on fb (politely of course), that maybe a mistake had been made, copies of the post were posted to our pages just letting folk know the real artist, advice was given to the artist not to be 'dheela' and to stand up for what was right, prophecies were made that the blame would go to the social media person......and so it went on.

Then the responses to our comments started........and the responses back.........and the private messages to the artist ('chewing her head' as she put it).......finally the post was edited and then removed and the social media person was blamed and all was well in the land...Some edited snippets from the conversation (without the ubiquitous emoticons half of which I don't understand and can't see without my glasses !)..............

"wtf !!"
"absolutely no way"
"shameless and how"
"what to say now"
"bloody liars"
"bollocks"
"unbelievable"
"i still don't understand why they would do this"
"one lesson i've learned is not to waste energy trying to understand the cretinous actions of folk"
"i betcha somewhere down the line they will blame their social media person"
"i'm so uneasy right now"
"check out the response to the post"
"their damage control is bollocks"
"she is chewing my brains"
"blaming the fb lady"
"see i told you"
"i'll chew your brains if you are not careful"
"they've taken off the post completely"

Once  the post was removed, we all had a good laugh and we we ended on .....

"oh well the end of an exciting gripping evening full of intrigue.... did they know? did they not know ? are they deceitful or are they innocent bystanders ? will the owner ever paint again ? is the friendship crushed ? will the mafia be after us and will we wake up with a horses's head in our bed'....well tune in for the next episode of ....'Stay real .... the powerpuff girls are about !'

So all is well in the land, nothing earth shattering occurred and no-one died - we went from being shocked and angry to having a good laugh about it .......but is all really well  ?

What has happened to integrity ? We seem to be living in a world where it is a commodity no longer valued.  The motto seems to be 'get away with what you can' and make excuses when you are caught. Many are too scared or apathetic to stand up and speak up for what is wrong.  I'm not talking about big world-changing events here, beef bans, scams or political shenanigans - I' m talking about in our social interactions.

In a small place like Pune, where there are only 1 or 2 degrees of separation, a reputation can be besmirched in a day.

Who knows how the whole incident will be spun, these are popular people.  On a superficial level, every one is nice to each other but beneath it all  I am discovering an undertone of who did what to whom, who did who, who has what and what they did to get it .....it goes on.  Of course, this is a strata of society where I am on the fringes and mainly an observer and happy to be so.  It naturally goes without saying that not everyone is like this.

So now what ? No harm continuing along our merry way - but come on folk - speak up don't put up. Support your mates, be loyal - don't worry about how it will look - who gives a toss !  Integrity and loyalty - two values intrinsic to being a good human being.

A final snippet from the conversation  to end this ..............

How does one deal with liars ?
Show them that you know they are lying without telling them, like we just did
Yep and start erasing them from your life.

Oh yes, and thank god for the pause button on Tata Sky, which allowed me to continue watching my show after all the hoo-ha had died down !! Yep 'suspension of disbelief' required for this show but I love it !

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters”
― Albert Einstein